When you are in the thick of infertility it can be hard to imagine walking away from trying mode.

Trying to conceive feels like movement towards a goal, something to focus on that is perhaps more pleasant than being angry at your body for not working as you assumed it would. It turns out that more people that you would expect walk away from infertility treatment without a birth of a child. This is not advertised on the brochure, let me tell you. It certainly doesn’t show up in movies or books this way either.

When you are pondering what life may be like after infertility, or if you have already embraced this shift, here are some resources that may feel like coming home, where people ‘get you’ in a way that you haven’t felt in a long time. Each has its own flavor and feel, try them out and see what’s right for you!

Gateway Women- The global friendship and support network for childless women. “Whether you're childless due to infertility or circumstance you're in the right place. Pull up a chair. Get a cup of tea or something stronger and make yourself comfortable. Things are just about to get a whole lot easier.” This website is full of great resources and the Gateway Women online community site is lovely too.
Chasing Creation- “My aim is to fill these pages with stories, resources, research, and insight that will do the same for you. On Chasing Creation, you’ll find posts about:
- Recognizing and working through grief.
- Processing the aftermath of infertility.
- Designing a childfree life.
- Redefining your identity.
- Strengthening your relationships.
- My favorite books and resources.”
Clan of Brothers- “A group to give childless not by choice (CNBC) males a safe place to find support and encouragement from their brothers around the globe. Please note this group is for males only and is not for anyone who has had a child (biological, adopted) or still trying to conceive.”
Childless by Marriage- “In a society where most people have kids, some of us don't because our partners are unable or unwilling to make babies. That's what this blog and my book, Childless by Marriage, are about. Let's talk about what it's really like.”
Savvy Auntie- “SavvyAuntie.com is the first and only community for Aunts: Aunties by Relation (ABR), Aunties by Choice (ABC), Great-Aunts, Godmothers, and all women who love kids. SavvyAuntie.com enables and empowers Aunts to exchange ideas, get advice, find gifts and connect with other Savvy Aunties.”

Often when I meet with clients and families going through a stressful time, they are especially exasperated about how to manage the reactions of their friends and families. Often their support network does not seem so... supportive. It's easy to feel helpless and to worry about saying the wrong thing. It is immensely difficult to see a loved one in pain, and sometimes the natural venting of this pain gets misdirected at the person or family actually going through the crisis. Enter the Ring Theory! This is a lovely reminder to pour comfort inward and then to process a reaction with people in outer rings. This article, written by a therapist who had cancer, is a great read for those needing to set boundaries with loved ones as well as those looking for a way to help.

Five Welcoming Resources for Life after Infertility. (Yes, there is life after infertility!)

Comfort Inward / Dump Outward